Untitled - Fiction Writing . Breaking the block!

Disclaimer : 

This is a work of fiction. 

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. 

Any resemblance to real persons, 

living or dead is purely coincidental

There are a million thoughts always running through my head and the words I think are sometimes different from the ones i've said.  

Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to her entreaty that broke down the door to my soul and crack the cemented wall behind it, but I had no choice.  I wanted to be free. Free from the circling vultures and the chaos that had shaded and tinted my reality.  

She had unlatched and cracked open one of the rusted locks sealing the cemented dusty black wooden door.  That very door had to open to release the frozen remnant of bitter sweet memories kept buried deep beneath. Memories that were still left alive.  Memories that often made me feel like I was trapped in one of those haunting dreams, where you have to run till your lungs felt like bursting and your body falling apart piece by piece. 

Like a broken dam, images after images flooded my mind to the brink. It was too much for me to handle and I could not let her see the effect of those memories had on me.  The trembles, the sweat, and the dizziness gushed in all at once.  Trying to control it all was like ripping in my veins tearing me in pain but I just could not let it surface. I was too tired too uncomfortable to talk anymore.   If only she could just hug and tell me "everything is ok!" at that moment, maybe I would feel a little settled but of course she was no mind reader and I didnt expect her to read my mind.  I used whatever strength that was left in me to control it, to force a smile and pretended like I was the strong woman everyone thought that I was.  Strong?! Strong?! Strong was the only thing i was left to be for a very long time, but how much stronger could i be? 

At that very moment, while i was still conscious I needed to quickly escape from that room before i completely fall to my knees.   Oh boy! I wanted so much to scream fighting the hell inside of me.  It was chaotic! 

"Guess... that's it for today. Thank you. " ... that was the best lame excuse i could think of,  functioning on distorted mode. Is that even an excuse? Whatever it was, I've said it followed by a smile, tried not to look at her face and scrammed out the door. Rude, yes i was but i just had to.  

As soon as i walked passed the reception and out of my aunt's office, the feeling of relief swept over me.  I took a deep breath and exhaled so loud that the lady who walked pass me wearing a pink flamingo hat turned and gave me a silly disapproving look.  Like i cared! I think I would, if it was the flamingo.  Found a very nice looking coffee joint to stop for a breather to collect myself from the cracked dam!  My dearest aunt Rebecca Jonas just couldn't stop prying in my private life.  Sometimes i wonder what was her motives wanting to know so much about the happenings in my life.  It was like as though she had an agenda and that bothered me a little.  I honestly did not want anything to ruin the beautiful relationship we had but I was not comfortable with her nosy nose that kept banging on my shield.

Memories, memories, memories ... like an illusion it plagued my mind.  Scraping the plague would only hurt more but how else could i unclip my mended wings to fly again.  Fear had manipulated my conscience for a very long time that sometimes, some things just don't feel and seem real anymore.  While i was deep in my thoughts, entertaining myself with the flooding memories, my cell phone buzzed, then rang.  I was reluctant to answer the call at first but i needed a distraction to stop the negative thoughts from wriggling in through my mind.  I took the phone and answered without looking who the caller was. 

"Hi Sandy... how are you?" ..  said a male voice on the other line. 

 

TO BE continued